Come to my Spa...

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It is being reused. ♥

ALL ENTRIES BELOW THIS ARE NONCANON FOR novipompeii. They are here for nostalgia and reference only. ♥

Since you apparently don't believe your perfectly trustworthy, endearing, lovable crew members, and because curiosity is the hallmark of a distinguished cat;

Where exactly do you all think we're taking you, hmm?

[locked to Janelle // unhackable]

My lady.

I believe we had dinner plans.

Blasted woman.

So this is it, then.

[what is that sound? Is it....a laser?]

I have become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.... -

[Pan turns to bark into the communicator.]

The feathers given to you by the lady heron! They will serve as protection!

[laser noises. Are they coming from Pan? Oh my!]

One use only, unfortunately. If you find yourself too haughty or capable for such things, I suggest you offer your feather to someone more needing.

[ooc: That's right, folks! The heron feathers will create a one-time-use shield. After use, they will dissolve into fine dust. As Pan suggests, feathers can be gifted to others.]

Yes, sir.

For all the good it is, the spa is available for any relaxation needs and will remain so for as long as possible.

[the transmission snows for a moment; he's turned it off...or has he? In the distance, he's talking to - Captain Redd? He's left the communicator on!]

...yes, I see it, sir.

[Redd murmurs, too soft to hear.]

The doctor's been going mad. And Kage has yet to let us down, sir.

[...]

Well, yes, but - he's fine, sir. I have...absolute confidence in him.

[...]

I believe she could be useful. And she makes a lovely cooked salmon.

[...]

We'll be prepared, sir.

[click.]

Have I mentioned how much I don't seem to share your sense of humor, sir?

[ooc: THIS SHIT IS BACKDATED FOR THE HANDCUFF EVENT.]

[the masseuse and the ship's doctor are walking slowly, murmuring.]

...so you see why I would want her there.

Yeah, I just... it might take a while.

Of course, yes, of course....how long is a while?

[Jamie stops walking, and Pan hops onto the counter, unusually solemn.]

I don't know... I don't know how bad it is. I mean, a month is pretty standard?

A month....of course.....I know she's rather hesitant about it. But it's for her own good...

[The doctor shuffles.]

Yeah. Yeah... I'll, uh, I'll get it ready, then.

Thank you. We can put her in the back. So as not to...disturb the passengers.

Get back.

I have lasers.

The spa is closed until forever my present company is fit to appear in public.

[someone murmurs in the background, perhaps a woman.]

Doctor.

A word.

I despise each and every one of you.

The spa is back open.

I'm afraid I do not appreciate your sense of humor, sir.

[LOCKED to | FUJIWARA SHIRO | VIN | CATPAW | MIMMI KOPANSKI | JANE DOWE "1UP" | SEISHIROU | FA "PING" | KEVAS | BRYNHILDR DOTTIR // UNHACKABLE]

Now, then.

Would anyone be up for a bit of fun?

What a charming little pet you've gotten yourself, Kage. Are you teaching him tricks? Does he know how to heel yet? I don't suppose he's very housebroken, is he?

Oh, and if you would, tell buttercup that I haven't seen his skelecat.

If you could change just one thing about your life, what would it be?

We've gotten another influx, have we? Lovely.

Well, then, welcome aboard the M.S. Elegante. I am your masseuse, Pantaleon Gregorius Whiskers, and I long to make your stay most enjoyable. If you need anything don't hesitate to call. Since the Stewardess will probably be taking care of it anyway.

My goodness. I must say, this bed is one of the best objects I have ever graced with my sleeping form, Janelle.

[a lengthly pause, for kneading and stretching and a bit of washing.]

And the steak was delicious, Tina. My compliments.

The cat collar, sir, was a bit much.

[he jangles the bells on the collar.]

I mean really.

[Janelle, Stewardess, you have some bubble bath outside your door.

Jamie, Kage, Even, you can have some fancy shaving cream.

B, you get one of those snakes the Captain was handing out.

Everyone else, Pan hates you. <3]

Back to being droll again, I suppose.

[locked. 90% hackable.]
I'm not actually certain where the Captain was born. He tends to get somewhat senile when asked.

[locked. 70% hackable.]
I do know, however, that he enjoys birds very much. Of course, I do as well, but in a somewhat different manner.

[locked. 50% hackable.]
Kage can play the erhu. I was quite surprised the first time, actually, but there you have it. Every desert has its diamond.

[locked. 30% hackable.]
I myself have always wished to play the piano. It is difficult, however, without fingers and thumbs.

[locked. 10% hackable.]
I'm impressed.

How amusing.

[locked to self. intentionally easy to hack.]

How delicious. Mmm, it makes me feel so nostalgic. Do keep it up, bipeds....

Oh, joy. We are now back to normal.

[locked to Crew. Unhackable.]

Something is wrong.

[locked to Jamie, Kage. Unhackable.]

We need to discuss something.

[ooc: characters who are emotionally sensitive or psychic may feel a bit "off" soon. There is nothing obviously wrong that they can think of, yet something does not sit quite right. More updates to come!]